Vanity thy name is Michelle…

Thursday, June 20th, 2013

I live my life by one rule… the Serenity prayer. Did you know that? Do you know what it is? It states,

God, grant me

the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

the courage to change the things I can

and the wisdom to know the difference.

That’s it, that is how I live every day. If there is something that happens or something that I don’t like, I ask myself – can I change it? if the answer is no, I have to accept it, let it go and move on. There is no sense wasting time and energy on something you cannot change. Now if the answer happens to be yes then there are a whole bunch more questions that have to be asked. How can I change it? What do I need to change it? Do I know how to change it? Can I change it on my own? Who can help? Just because I don’t know how to do something, doesn’t mean I dismiss it as undoable, it just means I have to work harder at it.

Now what this whole tirade is bringing me to is a decision I have made about my body. Most of you know how hard I work at it, I eat right, I exercise more than anyone I know, I live a well balanced, healthy lifestyle. I am doing and have done all of the right things and yet… when I look in the mirror, there is something I just don’t like. Yes the love handles are a bit more lovely than I would like, but that – can I change them? yep. How do I change them? More cardio, less wine. Problem solved, let’s move on to the part that I don’t like but cannot change – at least not by myself.

After 2 IVF retrievals, an appendix removal, surgery from a tubal miscarriage and now a C-section at the ripe old age of 37, I have a cleft of scar tissue on my lower abdomen that is very pronounced and that I cannot stand to look at. Now going back to my philosophy of life – if there is something in my life that I don’t like, I have two choices – accept it or change it. Can I fix this area of my body? Yes I can – I just can’t do it alone through diet and exercise, I need professional help so I have decided to do just that – I have a consultation tomorrow with a plastic surgeon to discuss my options for this cleft as well as the removal of another gift from my latest pregnancy – spider veins crawling up my leg.

So does plastic surgery to correct something I don’t like about myself when no other methods (diet, exercise, lifestyle) will work make me vain? probably. Do I care? Nope, not one bit. I would rather look at myself in the mirror and like what I see, wear what I like without feeling the need to hide or compensate for something I don’t like about my body than to hang on to a negative body image for the sake of humility. If I could do it on my own, I would in a heart beat but as much as I hate to admit it – this problem is beyond my skill set and is the exact reason why God invented plastic surgeons.

Vanity thy name is Michelle. Bring on the bikinis!

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