Are you going to wish for it or work for it?

On the walls of my fitness studio I have 3 or 4 chalkboards and every week I change the quotes that are on them to words that I use to inspire me. Ever since I was inrehab back in the bad old days fighting to kick my addiction issues I have used quotes and small inspirations such as these to basically guide me in my day to day life. I know it must sound almost ridiculous that a well-educated woman would find guidance and solace in something you could read on a desk calendar but bare with me as I explain why.

These quotes are simple. They cannot really be over-analyzed, torn apart, misinterpreted or argues over. They are what they are and cannot be made into anythig more or less. Often people try to over-complicate things to the point that all meaning is lost or they work it into something  they can interpret to mean exactly what they want to hear. My prime example of this is the millions of different interpretations of religious texts by both scholars and laymen – how many times have the same words been used to justify different acts? It is all in the interpretation and perspective of those that read them and that is why I prefer to find simple words of people that have been through what I am going through – words that they choose to describe the simplest way to overcome whatever challenge I am facing because that philospophy helped them to overcome theirs.

Which is why one of my favorites is the title of this week’s blog: Are you going to wish for it or are you going to work for it?

I first heard this quote during my training for Directorship in Mary Kay. We were siting around talking about our dreams – how we all wanted to make thousands if not millions, drive free cars and wear free diamonds – and our Mary Kay Millionaire National Sales Director said to us, “So now that you know what you want, are you going to wish for it or work for it?” It was a profound moment in my life – I don’t know about anyone else but at her words I realized that whatever my life was truly to become, whatever dreams of mine were to come true – they were  up to me to make happen. No amount of dreaming, wishing, hoping and even talking was going to win me a free car or get me a diamond – nothing but work was going to fill my bank account and you know what? Within 4 months I had earn my first diamond ring (which I still have) and was driving my first of 3 free Mary Kay cars. I was the only one of that group who was and the next year as the #2 Sales Director in my area with over $400,000 in sales and personal earning of almost $80,000 in that year (and having earned 3 more diamonds and yes another car!) I was asked to teach a group of aspiring new Sales Directors at the very same conference that inspired me. You know what I saw? The same women that were sitting there with me the year before still talking about what they were going to do and what they wanted. To say it was an eye opener for me in the ways of human behavior would be an understatement.

I still use those words today in almost everything I do. My husband and I discuss our dreams and our goals for the future and then we sit down and make out a plan that will get us where we want to be and figure out what we will have to do to get there. As our dreams and/or circumstances change – so does our plan. Just like life, it is always changing, always fluid, but it is there. It brings me comfort to know that my dreams are mere wishes in the night, they are attainable, achievable goals that can only be determined by my own actions or inaction, by my own choices. My life is not determined by chance or fate – that to me would make me a victim and I refuse to live like that. I am no victim of chance, either good or bad, I am in control of my own destiny and when the unforeseen happens as it always will, I have the power to adapt and to change right along with it.

It is this attitude and philosophy that I use to help my clients achieve their own goals. They will often here me listen to their complaints, their excuses, their challenges with an open ear. They tell me all the reasons why they haven’t done what they said they would, they explain how circumstances are holding them back from doing what they need to do and then I will look at them and say – ‘So what are you going to do about it?’ Most of the time they are quite taken aback because they have never thought much about their on empowerment. They have never really realized or even been told that they are the masters of their own destiny, that they are in charge and challenges are just that – challenges – they cannot stop us from reaching our goals and living our dreams if we do not let them.

It is this saying that comes to me again and again when reading wishes that people have been making online on a popular local discussion board. There have been so many that have asked for things that they want in their lives but when asked what they were willing to do in exchange – they either don’t respond, don’t follow through or in some cases actually get angry and say ‘I was just making a wish!’ What some people don’t understand is that most often the best way someone can help grant their wish is to show them how to get it for themselves. Many MANY times people have wished for financial assistance for help with groceries or rent or even gifts for the holidays for their children. I always offer them help with their finances by volunteering my time (and professional advice) to assist them with developing a budget and a sound financial plan so they can figure out how to pay for all of their needs with what income they have. In this way, their wish for groceries etc can be granted not just a single time with a cash donation but for all time. Guess how many have taken me up on that?

It is often akin to banging you r head against a brick wall – watching people complain again and again about their situation but not actually doing anything about it.Don’t get me wrong – we all have our days. even me. I have been known to bitch and whine and complain my fair share BUT when you hear the same complaints from  the same people again or again or even spend months or years listening to people talk about what they want but see no movement towards it or change in behavior – what do you do? It is frustrating! And beyond frustration it can lead to annoyance, at least for me. It is like watching someone complain about a cough while smoking their 3rd cigarette in a row, tell you how they want to lose weight as they eat a bag of chips or complain that they don’t have money for rent as they are buying a case of beer.

Wishes and Work – to many they are mutually exclusive but to me they are not – a wish is simply the end result of what you are willing to work for. It is what you want to get out of the effort you are willing to put in. Rarely does someone sit and do nothing and have their wishes magically granted (I think the last person to do this was Aladdin) – the rest of us that don’t live in Fairy Tales actually have to be willing to work for the things that we want. So many times I have had this conversation with someone and they look at me and say ‘Well it’s easy for you!’ And go on to tell me all the reasons why they just can’t….

Nothing is easy for me, nothing has ever been easy for me and that’s OK, if it was I probably would have eyed it with skepticism and turned away from it. Life isn’t meant to be easy – nothing worth wishing for is ever easy – but I promise you that the path to it is a simple one -it all comes down to how badly you want it and how much effort you are willing to expend to get it. There is only one question you have to ask yourself to determine whether or not your wish is attainable…

 

Are you going to wish for it or work for it?

And if your answer is wish – you don’t want it very badly and if your answer is work – I will always be here to help!

This entry was posted on Wednesday, December 7th, 2011 at 10:03 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.