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Archive for the ‘Mental Health’ Category

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The power of Yoda

Wednesday, April 21st, 2010

A few years ago there was a media frenzy and almost a cult following started over an amazing book entitled, ‘The Secret’ – remember it? I do. I read it cover to cover. Well actually I didn’t, I bought it on CD and listened to it disc-to-disc as I drove from appointment to appointment building my direct selling business. Like everyone else who gravitated toward it, I was looking for some magical key that would unlock the door to untold happiness and an abundance of wealth.

What I found was actually pretty disappointing. Well I wasn’t so much disappointed as I was jealous because here was a woman who made millions almost overnight by publishing a book telling people to do what I had learned to do in my therapist’s office for free! Talk about hindsight being 20-20! I could have cashed in just by sharing what I had learned – well not share it, but sell it! The power of positive thinking. That was the magic key that made Rhonda Byrne and her publishers rich and famous. That was it – positive thinking!

You don’t need to invest your time and money in learning how to accomplish your goals and gain the riches that you seek, I will tell you how right here and right now and I will tell you how – for FREE! All you have to do is believe. Believe not in the power of your ability to pick the right lottery numbers but in your ability to overcome and learn from all of the obstacles that are put in your path as you try to get to where you want to be.

Everyone has challenges, everyone has obstacles and every single person stumbles and falls. The difference between those who reach their goals and those that don’t are that the ones who succeed are the ones who get back up again, dust themselves off and keep going. Those that don’t – well, they stay down complain about their situation, shake their fist at the obstacle – blaming it for everything that has gone wrong in their lives and even try to stop those walking the same path from continuing by warning them of them obstacles and ensuring them that they won’t be able to go any further either. Those that stop and wallow with them never succeed either – hence the phase, ‘Misery loves Company.”

I am not a woman of religion, I have issues believing in a single entity that fits any known organizations description of who and what God is, but I do have faith in a higher power, not as a single being but as a force – maybe it is the Universe that Rhonda Byrne speaks about in her book, but I have never bothered trying to name it. Often I will make jokes to people about keeping their negativity quiet because ‘the fates are listening’ and what they take in jest, I mean with every fiber of my heart. the fates ARE listening. We also call them self-fulfilling prophecies (accuse your husband of being unfaithful every single day when he’s not – eventually, he will be) or better yet ‘What you think about you bring about’. That is my religion – my faith, the power each one of us has within ourselves to succeed or stop try trying based on what we think and say to and about ourselves.

In my personal and professional life, I encounter women (and men) every single day that are looking for advice, guidance, or even just a shoulder to cry on and I try my best to accommodate every request. I can teach policy, I can teach procedure, I can tell people what I think they need to do and how I think they should do it based on my education and experience but I cannot do it for them and as long as they keep saying the all-impotent ‘I CAN’T’ well – they just won’t. No matter what and to me that is the saddest part of doing what I do. Watching people give up on themselves or even worse, not even bother to try at all – just staying n the dirt shaking their fist at circumstance and not realizing that they are the ones giving their problems all of the power to keep them down.

I don’t believe in failure. I believe that people quit before succeeding – they don’t fail, they give up. In the wise words of yoda…”Do or Don’t Do. There is no try.”

Now those are words to live by!

 

Posted in Mental Health | 35 Comments »

Perspective

Friday, April 9th, 2010

Sometimes it is so hard to see the blessings in our life because we get caught up in the problems and conflicts that surround us. We focus on the negative because well, it is easier and as humans we are drawn to what we find easiest to do and unfortunately when we do this, it just create more of the same.

I am a firm believer in self-fulfilling prophecies – the age-old adage that what you think about, you bring about. Growing up the way I did, with the problems that I had to face, I had to believe it because if I focused on what I had or where I had been, I would never be able to see where I could go and what I could be. It isn’t easy but it is simple.

So often I see clients who are so caught up in the things they don’t have, that they not only can’t see or appreciate what they do have, they actually become angry when you point it out to them. Why is that do you think? Could it be that people become comfortable surrounding themselves with negative energy? Perhaps it is such a habit that any thought of stopping it sends them into an addicts-panic? It is a sad state to be in and I know that we all know someone like that – someone who sees the glass as not only as half empty, but sees the spots on the glass as well. What is the solution?

Well my solution can be found in one word – PERSPECTIVE. That’s it. Everyone needs some perspective in their lives. And as simple as it is – it can be so hard to be willing to get some that this is often the point in counselling that I stop seeing clients for awhile because they suddenly become ‘busy’.  So what do I mean by perspective? Well…

– If you are worried about finances – you never have enough money, you complain constantly about how you are limited and can never do what you want to do…. visit a homeless shelter.

– A compulsive over-eater at risk of numerous diseases just ‘can’t’ do what it takes to stop because of…. well whatever the excuse of the day is – I may introduce them to an amputee that lost their legs to diabetes or a person who has lost their sight.

– A woman who complains of her husband and how unsupportive and awful he is to her by not cleaning up around the house – some time at a women’s shelter often makes things seem different at home.

I am not suggesting for a second that these issues are minute or insignificant at all, they are incredibly important to the people they afflict but they are NOT insurmountable as they often seem when all you do is focus upon them. Often when we are focused so fully on a problem, it is larger than life with no solution in sight – it seems so incredibly difficult we don’t even try to fix it, we just go around and around the mountain it becomes and lament the day it came to be and not realize that with every pass by, we enlarge it with our impotence. Often some perspective will allow us to see it for what it is or what it could become if we don’t conquer it and we find the strength and motivation to begin trying to fix it. We may not get it at first but the more we try, the more we are willing to try to solve whatever problem it is, the less it grows and smaller it becomes.

A problem is only a problem if you are willing to solve it. If you are unwilling then it is no longer a problem – it is a fact of life. It’s like the old prayer goes – change what you can, accept what you can’t and always seeks to know the difference.

Posted in Mental Health, Uncategorized | 5 Comments »

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